Friday, 28 November 2014

i think I've figured it out
my body just loves life so much it never wants to sleep
even when i have to get up for work then go and babysit
and i could really do with getting some sleep
i just keep yawning but they're empty yawns
like they aren't real ones
now i can't stop yawning cause i keep typing yawn
now I'm hungry
thats not gonna help is it
bloody hell
thank god i have a good dvd collection or id have pulled my eyelids off by now
maybe i should do that actually
cause then the loss of blood might make me pass out and i'd actually get some sleep
lucozade poison and sausage butty for me in the morning
if i manage to drag myself from my suddenly uncomfortable bed
tenner bets its the most comfy thing in the world come morning time
i hate that stupid logic

by the way i started printing on wrapping paper

Tuesday, 18 November 2014

why don't people in horror films who are running away from the baddie get a stitch?

Monday, 17 November 2014


Sunday, 16 November 2014

feel like dog trumps whilst freezing to death with my hot chocolate
it's definitely winter


*not a genuine hashtag

Friday, 14 November 2014

booked the train tickets to lincoln to see the famous chlobot!

Thursday, 13 November 2014

'you're trying to tell me sexism doesn't exist
well if it doesn't exist then what the fuck is this
how many boys will it destroy
how many girls and boys will it annoy'

Liebe ist verrückt dumm
bought 40 year old virgin from the poundshop
such a fucking deal

just hung up on the guy who called me trying to get me to sponsor a guide dog again
sorry shack but my money needs to be spent on chocolate and nail polish

Wednesday, 12 November 2014

i hung out with jordan today
i haven't just mooched round town with him for ages
and i liked it
mostly because we had a burger king though

its half seven on the 12th of november
why the fuck is something letting fireworks off?
argh this village makes no sense
my dogs don't like them

i bought some wrapping paper today
but its from prim ark so its so wank its offensive to the eyes
(i love the pattern its just it scratched off really easily and then looks very cheap. which it was, but you still expect better)
jordan says it looks like a barbers
blood and bandages
little less festive now so i wrapped his presents in it muahaha

not too bad if i do sat so myself
i also slid a candy cane in there cause he's never had one (!!!)
i bought that ribbon today and used it all already
jordans my mums and the tiniest bit on danis

candy canes are a must on all presents

this is me mams
looks small
because it is
but she didn't want much
(there are earrings in there in my defence)

this one is danis
i did a weird little knot thing to connect the two green stripy ribbons and I'm genuinely proud of it

i think it looks right good
i also used string to make that other little present stay there
and i must say it
this gift wrapping is a skill that i possess
gonna add it to my cv
then take it off my cv again when i look at poor abbies present
cause it looks rubbish
but i tried loads of stuff
and i can't make it look good!
oh god it looks worst on screen..
bare with me
*5 minutes pass*
thats as best as i can do it
and i know the small presents lines don't line up with the big present and I'm sorry okay!?
I've got no ribbon left to do anything fancy so it'll do
she'd be happy with it if it was wrapped in a carrier bag to be fair
efforts there

although I've been wrapping presents
in my christmas jumper 
wearing my christmas turkey hat
i'm not feeling overly festive
the only other thing i could do would be to watch elf but even i think its too soon for that
and i don't wanna over watch it like i nearly did last year

i better tidy my bed
theres ribbon and paper and tape and scissors and presents all over the place
i'm asking for an accident here

Monday, 10 November 2014

This blog always makes me want to read and so i shall
cuddled up in bed
with 2 hours til the quiz